


I Don't Love You Anymore

by LizzyMay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Titan Eren Yeager, final season, spoilers for final season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyMay/pseuds/LizzyMay
Summary: Not that you care. The light behind your eyes has gone.I don't love you anymore.TLDR: Where Levi comes to terms with the monster Eren has become.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 7
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

When did the light go out from your eyes?

Was it when we flew over Marley, in a ship without sails? 

Was it when the floor turned to liquid, red with the blood of your comrade? Was that when the light left your eyes?

Who are you?

I would use the word ‘Beast’ had your brother not already taken that mantle. I would say heartless, yet I know you still have a pulse. Your breath used to tremble at the mention of their kind. Now it is steady. Silent. The hiss and grit that came from your mouth now gone. 

The Founding Titan… but what did you find? A nest for your hatred, somewhere where it can be tamed and nurtured until it is ready. Did you misplace your rage, or have you come to terms with the consequences of throwing your weight around? Perhaps you understand what it now means. 

Are you silent because that is all that is left to do with your anger?

You’ve tried fighting. You’ve tried bravery. You tried to make the world better. You tried diplomacy and peace. You tried to rally the support of your allies, defied the naysay of your enemies. You tried to hold humanity on your shoulders… you were just a boy. A stupid, stupid boy. A stupid boy who thought he knew how to solve a problem even scholars couldn’t grapple with. How far did your arrogance get you? 

Silence. 

That’s all you hold now. Silence and secrets. Sickening secrets shrouded in shadows. Your fists no longer shake when you speak. Your fingers barely twitch. You sit there and stare. Stare right through me. You used to sit and shake. 

“You need to wash. You smell like shit.” I spat at you. Where did you go, the man who would leap to his feet to please me? 

You stare straight through me. Silent. Shit. 

“Oi. Eren.” I say. You fucking heard me, I know you did. You sit there with your stare. With your eyes that no longer blink. You regard me with that stupid stare. I’ve never hated you more. I wished I had truly beaten the shit out of you when I had you chained by my feet. Maybe that would have taught you some respect. 

“Yes. Captain.” 

You say back. Your voice barely above a whisper. Those eyes that held the hope of a better future, blank. Bored. Unbothered. Push me again, and I’ll kick you to the ground. As many times as it takes, Eren. You stupid, arrogant shit. 

Until your cell was before you, you remained nothing. Your body moved without feeling. Like your mind was somewhere else, not too far away, but elsewhere. You were too clever to be bothered with the world before you. You, apparently, had other things to think about. You saw the bars and smirked. A smirk. Was that all you could do?

“I ate the Warhammer titan.” You say like I didn’t know this. “I can make any object I want.”

You roll your head towards me.

“Why do you think this can hold me?”

I know it can’t. I won’t give you the satisfaction of my bed either. I refuse to hold you in my arms again. This cell not to imprison you, it is to remind you of your place. A weapon. A soldier. A grunt of the military you swore an oath to. A slave to the government that cares not for your fate. You know this. As you have every time we put you in your place. You no longer care for it. Neither do I. 

“It won’t,” I say, letting your comrades push you into the cell. They lock it behind you. Something you found funny. Funny. Your smile never reached your eyes. “We can’t let you roam around as you please.”

“’ Let me’? What would you do to stop me?”

“I’d kick you to shit.”

You laugh. Empty. A single note. 

“Alright.”

I came back hours later. My bed is freezing without you in it. Not that you offer me much else other than a cold shoulder. You were still awake. I wonder if you blinked at all since I left. You’ve flooded your cell, likely to piss me off. You have let the sink overflow, dripping water onto the stone floor. You haven’t slept, I don’t remember the last time you did. I don’t think either of us has slept peacefully for a while. 

“I don’t love you anymore.” 

The words left my mouth without my permission. My thought streaming into my throat before I had a chance to consider them. Or maybe, as you had considered your fate, I had been considering mine. 

You say nothing. You just sit there with that stupid look on your face. Perhaps I should say that I too had decided to become a titan shifter. Perhaps I should have said I was a member of the royal family. Perhaps I should have said I stuffed four apples up my ass. It would have probably all lead to that same stupid face. Poised. Focused. Preparing for something. Was it the breakup, or was it the fuck off big war coming our way? You say nothing, so I leave. 

It is a mistake to think I follow you out of a desire to keep you safe. You had chosen to disregard those important to you. I follow you because I have fought for too long to throw away my future. I worked my ass off to get here, to the cusp of true freedom. I could almost touch it. Taste it. Away from the walls that kept us safe, into the oceans that carry us to a new world. A world I had hoped to start with you. 

You are fearless with your display of power. The rumbling of thousands of feet in step with yours. Riding the shoulders of our kin, we took the earth in our hands and shaped it to our desires. Paradis unleashes you onto the world in a moment I thought I would hold with pride. It instead leaves a bitterness in my mouth that I cannot wash out. I watch you tear yourself apart for the ‘good’ of mankind. Humanities last hope. At what point did we ask you to lose your humanity for the sake of ours?

When did the light leave your eyes?

Was it when you swore your oath?

Was it when you left me behind to take on Marley alone?

Was it when you grew up and realised just how cruel the world was? 

I don’t love you. I don’t hate you. I don’t fear the monster you have become. It was a matter of time, Eren. A path that had been laid out before you, one you had no choice but to walk. One I helped push you down. The signs were there for years. What you would become. You could have done nothing to change it. Was that what stole your light? The cruel world that extinguished the fire in your belly, tossed your dreams into a furnace and made you watch them burn. 

That was when the light left your eyes.

The day the world began to burn.


	2. Chapter 2

I don’t love you anymore. 

Is that the worst thing you could say to me? Is that really all that was left to say? Years of wearing me like a medal on your chest lead to this? 

I don’t love you anymore.

You say that like your love was important to me. 

Not your devotion to me, your loyalty to my cause. You would follow me blindly. You were so drunk on the idea of being the dick sheath to the Attack Titan that you would do anything to keep me under your influence. You like to think that because you can land a good kick that you have some sort of power in the situation. You can spin very fast and move like the wind, yes, it’s impressive. But I have no idea where you got the delusion of control from. 

When I stopped behaving like the child I was when I met you… was that when you got scared? When I lost the ‘light’ in my eyes? When I stopped believing that things will be better ‘if’. ‘If’ I can join the survey corps. ‘If’ I can go past the wall. ‘If’ I can retake Wall Maria. ‘If’ I can see the ocean. If. If. If. If I behaved. If I got down on my knees and worshipped you for the hero humanity thought you were. 

If you stopped loving me.

Maybe then I would stop. 

Maybe then it would be better. 

I don’t know if you would remember, not in the middle of everything else that was going on, but before I left for Marley I heard you. I think you thought I was asleep. You hadn’t touched me in months, deciding instead to sleep with your back to me on the other side of the bed. But that night I felt you reach out to me, wrap your arms around my waist and bury your tears into my back. I know you hated me. I know you were angry with me. I know you wanted to grab my head and tear out the stupid idea that made me think going to Marley would fix anything. I remember lying there and listening to your sob. It was frustration, mostly. You held me so tight. Your fingers tangled into my shirt and pulled me closer to you. Your lips pressed kisses onto my spine.

You begged me to stay. 

And now you don’t love me anymore. 

So why should I listen to you? Why did the man who loved me put me in a cage? Why did he try to stop me from making the world a better place? I thought you believed me. I thought you too were done with being cattle. I thought you were with me on this, that we were fighting the same side, for the same goal. In a sentence, you showed me why I was right to follow my head. If I waited for you to reconcile your feelings, we would never have gotten anywhere.

The rage of the Attack Titan flowed through me, unleashing years of hatred onto a world so deserving of spite. 

'I don’t love you anymore.'


End file.
